The Kunoichi's Guide to Dealing With PMS
by Runespoor
Summary: The Kunoichi's Guide to Dealing With PMS When On Missions: kunoichi are women and ninjas.


**Title:** The Kunoichi's Guide to Dealing With PMS When On Missions  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG-13  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Kunoichi are women and ninjas. Gen.

* * *

><p>1.<p>

It's that or being pregnant, Kurenai tells herself when the backlash of the genjutsu catches up with her and she struggles against the urge to vomit.

"Kurenai? You're alright?" her teammate asks. The only redeeming thing about the question is that he's not looking at her, but instead has his weapon drawn toward their two attackers. They're not in a state to wake up anytime soon; she used twice the amount of chakra she usually does for this technique, without even realising, but she barely feels it.

"Fine," she answers calmly.

2.

Luckily, Rin is a medic-nin and she also has a good memory for dates. Unluckily, she's an orphan and the woman who taught her on the business of being a medic is dead.

But she has a sensei.

He takes her aside once, not very long after they became a team, and tells her, "Rin-chan, you'll have to tell me about your days so we can figure out something." He looks mildly sympathetic. "There are enemies with an acute sense of smell."

She nods even as she feels herself burning up. Enemies aren't the only ones with an acute sense of smell.

If she lives until then.

3.

"We've been running non-stop for an entire day already! Let's take a little break!"

Lee turns to smile at her. "Tenten, you lack discipline," he admonishes.

No, she has cramps.

4.

It's not that it's painful, because Ino doesn't feel any different.

It's just that when she's using her possession jutsu, she can't help but worry that when her body fell, the tampon was dislodged. And the concern that there's a stain steadily growing on her clothes makes her just a tiny bit nervous.

5.

If you can't take it, then marry a wealthy civilian and spend one week out of every month lying on your bed in complete darkness.

Tsunade never gives a day off to kunoichi who pretext feminine matters to get out of duty, and never even accepts to hear about it. The first who tried was permanently discharged.

But under Godaime, painkillers for kunoichi become entirely free, and she allots a small portion of the budget to research.

6.

The wind erases Kankuro's voice like writings in the sand, the echo reaching her ears as if he was miles away. A moment later they're huddled behind Kankuro's puppet Sanshouo. The wind howls around them, managing to whip thin lashes of sand past the massive shield, but they're mostly out of reach.

Kankuro spits on the ground, trying to get rid of the sand he got in his mouth in spite of all his efforts when he shouted his puppet's name. Temari smirks at his grimaces.

"Fucking _sand_– man, at least in Konoha – I don't get how you stand it, Temari, I really don't," he curses, eyeing the slit in Temari's skirt and her bare arms with a disgusted air. Then he spits some more.

Try being on your period, Temari thinks. After that just sand seems pretty tame.

7.

Chakra control is easily disturbed by mood-swings, menses, and even contraceptives.

Sakura is an emotional girl.

Her chakra control is the best since several generations.

8.

Orochimaru-sensei smiles at her while she shuffles.

She wants to die. Her body has betrayed her, betrayed him. Of course he's told her that it happens to every girl, but she's too young, how can she be useful to him, she's broken now.

"It doesn't matter," he assures her. Anko believes him because Orochimaru-sensei never lies, and her eyes close when her hair is slowly stroked by a languid white hand.

Later, she feels a thrill when she realises that the second level of her seal is unaffected.

9.

"She never tires, or what?" Kiba pants. Shino inclines his head without answering, sweat beading on his forehead.

Hinata comes back from between the trees with a bounce in her step and a bundle of wood in her arms that barely prevents her breasts from bouncing as well.

She sets the fire up, humming under her voice, then stands up and, rubbing the dirt off her knees, announces that she'll go fish dinner now.

The two boys watch her saunter off, dumbfounded and almost disgruntled. In the silence, Akamaru whines pathetically.

Kurenai hides her smile. Of all the effects a girl's period can have, it's almost fitting.


End file.
